At 9:18 this morning I quit seeking a clever topic for this post.
Did my watery oatmeal signify the surrender? (Too lazy to measure liquid, I over-filled and got stuck slurping.)
Was it the fact that as of January 12th, my dining room table still boasts a crowd of Christmas crap?
Are those stains on my sweatshirt from melted chocolate? Red wine? Oh, who cares.
I’m feeling un-insightful today.
Today I just want to tell you stuff.
Like…I have an AUTHOR NEWSLETTER coming out soon and I’m so sorry but I’m going to have to beg you to sign up.
Especially since I lost all my blog subscribers in the shift from blog to AUTHOR WEBSITE (I had somewhere between one subscriber and one million subscribers) which means I might have to beg you to re-subscribe to my blog. Up top above the SUBSCRIBE box on the right —>
Do you see it? I forgive you if you don’t.
But if you DO, I promise not to post too often or send my in-the-works newsletter more than once a month. FYI the newsletter will be called Running with Pencils and when you sign up for it, you’ll receive a free piece of my writing. And if that isn’t tempting enough, I’ll let you dog-sit my puppy.
I know! It’s your lucky day! Wear elastic waistbands!
So when I eventually tweet about Running with Pencils or if I mention it in a Facebook status or post it on my Facebook author page (ohmygodIamalreadysickofmyself), or when I ask you one more time to re-subscribe to my blog, will you try not to be too annoyed?
What if I share my chocolate with you?
Oh, wait! Here’s something else:
I found out the book cover of my first novel (!!!) will be revealed on Leap Day, February 29th, which is appropriate since Letters for Scarlet took approximately four years and 24 hours to write. (No, seriously.)
But it was worth the effort and I’ll tell you why: the other morning Bill was tired because it’s exhausting being married to me and also because he stayed up later than usual because he didn’t want to stop reading my book.
(Using because three times in one sentence is a sign you’re an author. Probably.)
And another thing: it’s been three years to the day since our house fire on January 12, 2013. If you didn’t know me then or read my blog, Hey! We had a fire! If you did know me then and/or read my blog, thanks for being awesome. Because everyone was awesome.
Everyone still is.
Speaking of awesome, I was in this very same sweatshirt, completing an online interview (Fancy!) that asked what inspires me as an author. I felt insanely unprepared. This was an answer I should have at the ready. What inspires me?
Chocolate? Zippers? Wine?
I had no idea.
I did know Letters for Scarlet was inspired by the five-year-letter assignment I used to do with my students. Of course my book is a work of fiction so I changed the assignment to a ten-year-letter. I also changed everything else. You can find out what and how and why on April 4th.
Have I mentioned Letters for Scarlet is being released on April 4th?
Have I also mentioned I’m apparently going to need reviews on Amazon? There was a lot I didn’t know about promoting a book (related: NEWSLETTER!) and among those things is how vital it is to the Almighty Amazon Algorithm that authors receive manymanymany reviews. Gulp.
(And here’s where I admit receiving bad reviews has been one of my worst fears in the publishing process but I’m making peace with it. Mostly.)
So if you’d like to be on my Fancy Review Team (several of you indicated you want to read/review my book but I’m afraid of imposing!) pleasepleaseplease comment or message me. Or email. Or text. But don’t call because #phonesarescary.
Also, the team is just me and we won’t actually be fancy. You can be anywhere in the world and in your pajamas.
Speaking of pajamas, it is now almost noon (let’s hear it for lunch!) and I’m raising a white flag over this post.
My kids have been fed (Rice Krispies = I win!) and deposited at school; my dogs are semi-walked and the dishwasher’s swishing; our washing machine’s cycling and the dryer is….clanking. (What on earth is in there? Certainly not my sweatshirt.)
Even if I accomplish little else today, at least I have not done nothing.
In fact I might’ve found my new tagline:
I did not do nothing. TM
(Bacon grease. Yep. That’s it.)