Yes, the rumors are true: I finally got an iPhone.

I’m the last one on the planet to have one, probably, and I have no idea how to use it.

Still. I rarely let ignorance define me. Or maybe ignorance is, in fact, my most defining quality.

Either way, I mulled over an appropriate venue to surrender my iPhone virginity and came up with Saturday night’s UCLA football game.

It would be just like college except with my entire family present. Hooray!

I’ll admit I was nervous; after all, my phone and I hadn’t even reached first base.

But after a tumbler of wine I was ready to swing for a home run. Or a touchdown. Or whatever.

Lest you think I’m exaggerating my technological lameness for entertainment, witness a brief demonstration by clicking on this picture:  

(Go ahead. I promise nothing will explode. Probably.)

Recognizing that the word “limited” hardly does me justice, Jack and Karly took matters (and my phone) into their own hands to show me how it’s done:

Ever the eager learner, I tried again; but hit the power button by mistake and took the actual picture at the wrong time:

So Bill grabbed the phone and shot this while patiently describing the intricate procedure to me:

Eventually, everyone gave up on me. Which was just the lack of confidence I needed to channel my inner-Annie Leibovitz (shut up):

And I’m now happy to report that despite the initial awkwardness, my first time (taking pictures with my iPhone) was truly unforgettable.

After all, UCLA beat San Jose State, the Gardners ate a ton of crap, and nobody ended up pregnant.

(Fingers crossed.)

Last Modified on June 14, 2018
This entry was posted in Life
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53 thoughts on “iPhun

  1. Have phun with your new phone. I know people love theirs. I’m partial to my Droid, except I think it takes crappy photos : (

  2. Julie

    To my awesome brother-in-law Randy,

    THANKS for talking me through how to do this. I hope you got some decent sleep last night. Eventually.

    And I’m sorry I couldn’t pull it off EXACTLY as I should have.
    But at least nobody’s dog ate peanuts off my face last night…

    (Baby steps.)

  3. I don’t have an iphone yet either. I’m slowly getting there as my blackberry is starting to annoy the crap out of me!

  4. Actually, you took that picture exactly at the right time. Too cute.

    The video was really perfect. You’re precious. I wish you lived next door to me. I’d visit every day.

    AND LOOK AT THE TAILGREATING FUN. You know how I feel about tailgreats. Especially when the home team wins 😉

  5. Di

    Luckily you’re a better writer than film maker, says the good friend who loves her Droid!

  6. liz

    I actually think the photo of both kids blinking is quite perfect as part of your virgin experience.

  7. Julie

    Liz –

    You’re so right. Posed pictures make me twitch.

    Now if only I could figure out the correct way to plan my candids…

  8. You’re daughter seems to know how to use it, I guess you’ll have to get her one now right?

    I’m sure someone at the game ended up pregnant. Maybe next time you should shoot pictures of the people you think might get knocked up before the end of the game. That would be fun.

  9. Oh, Julie, you’re going to have so much fun with it. You can even BLOG from it. I know, right? Technology is such a tender lover.

  10. Julie

    I am loving Bridget’s genius: A “Guess Who Got Knocked Up” photo series…

    DANG it! All the good ideas are already taken.

  11. When I first got my iPhone, I repeatedly (as in every time I tried to take a picture at the birthday party we were attending), hit the power button. I finally told my husband I thought the camera feature was broken. And then we laughed and laughed. No, wait. HE laughed and laughed while I felt incredibly dense.

    Your family is beautiful. Looks like the game was a lot of fun!

  12. Yay for you and your iphone. I am now, officially the only one without one.

  13. I’m sorry but what sport was this about?


    Now I can text you like a crazy person.

    Also, get the instagram app for your pictures.

    An app is something you put on your phone.

    BTW? I miss you!!! xo

  15. Julie

    Cheryl –

    It will probably not surprise you to hear that I tried to upload (that’s what you do, right?) the instagram app with no success.

    I need help. But my kids keep telling me they’re busy.

    And yes. Please text me, crazy person.
    I did not get custody of my contacts in the phone divorce.

  16. Loved the video! You have one gorgeous family there. And I’m jealous because I want an iPhone. I’m asking Santa for Christmas iPhone. We’ll see. My Santa’s kinda cheap.

  17. You have an iPhone? Want to play Words With Friends? Hunh? Hunh? I’m not very good, but you can find me by my misspelled username, Prairedaughter. (I enjoy being mediocre).

    I want to go to a football game. I love college sports.

    And the Annie Liebovitz reference = brilliant.

  18. I’m so jealous of your iPhone. I’m still stuck in the dark ages of dumb phones.

    And honestly, you all are the cutest little family.

    Poor San Jose State. They lose the game. And they’re STILL San Jose State.

  19. Fingers crossed…hahahaha!!

    I have more videos that were supposed to be photos than I know what to do with. Damn iPhone. It’s meant to make us feel inadequate, it’s how Apple keeps its power. (This is my theory. My husband disagrees. But then I’m pretty sure he’s on Apple’s payroll)

  20. Fingers crossed? You got to wait a month and see… It’s like Christmas but not haha.

    Love your humor.

  21. Julie:

    Mazel tov on the new iPhone!

    Whoo hoo!

    Now we can play with Words with Friends (I’m poetbabe.)And you will be able to bookmark all your favorite bloggers and cram us all into neat little folders. You will be able to moderate your blog remotely

    (while driving) — just kidding

    And soon you will be filled with apps.

    Or not.

    One word of advice, don’t let the kids touch it. It ain’t a toy. It’s a tool. And after you figure out its magical powers, you will wonder what you ever did without it.

  22. You handle that phone camera like a pro. And even though I was weaned on the SEC, I always liked that UCLA blue. Such a purty shade. Looks like my kind of day.

  23. something exploded!

    just kidding.

    Congratulations on your magic phone! I’m not allowed to have one, due to my addictive personality and my deep devotion to social media. 🙂

  24. Julie

    JoAnn –

    I’m pretty sure my husband supports the iPhone because I have no ability to translate my addictive personality or love of social media into action. I simply don’t know how to use it.

    Since the purchase of the phone, I’ve managed to take those four pictures and one accidental video.
    Oh. And I use it for texting.

    Lame, thy name is Julie.

    (I’m pretty sure Shakespeare would have said that if he had met me.)

  25. Christy H.

    I love how helpful Karly is as you try to figure out what you’ve done.

  26. haha fingers crossed! You seriously kill me. I cannot wait to hear of your auto correct tales!!

  27. Christy – Isn’t she sooo helpful? Hmmm. It seems more like she’s mocking me. Which around my house is sometimes the same thing. Survival of the fittest and all…

    Janie – I tried to send someone a text expressing sympathy. I typed Awwwww….and it auto corrected to asses. So not right. I’ll keep you posted.

  28. You definitely channeled your inner Annie Lebowitz! Congrats on the iPhone. 😉

  29. Always blame the camera. It’s easier on the self-esteem, and really, who could argue with this sound logic? It’s a PHONE. Not exactly a natural at playing camera, that phone. So, yeah. It’s the PHONE camera’s fault. You’re still brilliant.

    Also, I had no idea UCLA was blue. It’s amazing what you learn online these days. Do they grow corn in California, too? I’ve always wondered. I know, non sequitur.

  30. I think you did beautifully for an iPhone virgin!

  31. My fave is the third pic where your kids are laughing hysterically, presumably at you trying to take their picture.

    p.s. you are a sassy little minx in those photos and we may be fighting, because I’m pretty sure your thighs don’t touch…

  32. Great photos! Enjoy your new phone.

  33. OH MAN! I’ve been drooling over an iPhone for the last few months and haven’t pulled the trigger!

    I love your pics! The ones where your kids are laughing is priceless!! LOVE IT!

    Can’t wait to hear what you think of it. If it is a must purchase or not.

  34. I’m so happy you got an iPhone. Welcome to the 2000s.

    Now you need to take more pictures.

  35. Seriously?! Another similarity? I got a Windows Phone over fourth of July and still hang up on people, purse dial my husband and accidnetally send embarrassing pictures of myself to Facebook!

    Reason 432 of why I love you!

  36. Did you download the Annie Leibovitz app?

  37. Congrats on the iPhone! I love the one of them blinking!

  38. Siiiigh. I just enjoyed this so much. I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to picture with my iphone only to end up recording.

  39. Okay, that is hilarious! It definitely takes some getting used to, but you’ll be a pro in no time.

  40. I haven’t made it to the dark side yet. Hubs insists though, that once our Blackberries die, we’re going iPhone.

  41. KLZ

    My goodness! Your family all looks so happy!! Is there an app for that?

  42. Love the pic of the kids laughing at you. I have so many issues with my iphone, not funny. Hitting the wrong buttons, taking pictures of my shoes on accident. Video when I thought I was clicking a photo. I’ma Dummie.

  43. Melissa

    I was given one for Mother’s Day. Odd, because in our house, we don’t buy gifts for Mother’s Day/Father’s Day. Cards are welcomed, and if a gift must be bestowed upon myself or husband it has to be made with love, not bought or paid for, so I was shocked when presented with such a gift. I’m not a Mac person and prefer my PC and Blackberry, but according to my children, I’m so much cooler now with the new iPhone (white I might point out). It took me two weeks to figure out how to type on it and take pictures, what a lot of wasted time. I think the first dozen pictures were of me, all with a stupid look of, how does this work? You know, it has that reverse picture option and of course, had no idea how to reverse it to take a picture of someone else, like my kids. Maybe my kids think I’m vain and I wanted me to take pictures of myself, um, no, that would be the last thing I want to do. Needless to say, I have approximately 40 photos on my iPhone and 10 of them are for a brick job I needed repaired and had to send to the brick layer for an appraisal. Sad isn’t it. I hear phones are being hacked right and left, I guarantee if someone saw my pictures, they would feel sad, very sad for me and give it back.

  44. I am not having Phun…..I’m only feeling Phat.

  45. That picture taken at the wrong time couldn’t have come out any better. I love candid photos!

  46. I was so out of this week either:

    A) I forgot to hit “submit comment” on the insanely long comment I had for this the day it was posted.

    B)I hit submit but it got lost in the cyberweb.

    C)My reply is here somewhere, but I’m too tired now to see it or it is trying the new invisible font.

    D)I only composed my reply in my head, and because I remember it, I only thought I’d actually typed it and now one day later, I cannot honestly remember if I hit submit or not.

    And that’s just commenting via laptop.

    Yeah on having your new phone! Good luck!

  47. I think you’re doing just fine, momma – looks like a great night was had!

    Though, I’m laughing at your kids reactions when you do your first “self-portrait” by holding the phone out in front of you.

  48. Yay for an iphone! I love mine. Now you need instagram for your pics- I’m addicted. 🙂

    Looks like a fun time!

  49. Oh you are adorable, aren’t you?

    Yay for your iphone and your uber beautiful family and super phun {hee!} family night!


  50. Congrats on the iPhone. I love mine, but don’t call me on it. I don’t really know how to use it. Looks like you all had a little phone phun.

  51. That video is pure awesomeness. As is the photo taken at the wrong time – those expressions on your kids’ faces? That’s the kind of glee (albeit at your expense) that you want to bottle and keep forever.

    Lack of confidence is an amazing motivator, isn’t it? I thrive on other people’s lack on confidence in me.

  52. iphone? Congrats on the new addition! Because they are just that. I have been waiting for my contract to expire so I can land one of these babies.

    Looking forward to more of the awkward awesomeness that only you can deliver.


  53. Yes, I understand you are technologically inept (sidebar: why is there no word “ept” meaning, well, not inept? Get back to me on that, would you?). Where was I? Oh yes, you with the lackity lack of technical know how still, look at how adorable and SKINNY you are? How could it possibly matter? 🙂

    As is often the case with children, I’m sure they can explain how to disarm a nuclear bomb while posting it to youtube and playing a game of Angry Birds. Meanwhile it’s a wonder I can open a jar of pickles.

    Congratulations on the latest acquisition. I’m sure it will make a lovely paperweight. 🙂

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