Yes, the rumors are true: I finally got an iPhone.
I’m the last one on the planet to have one, probably, and I have no idea how to use it.
Still. I rarely let ignorance define me. Or maybe ignorance is, in fact, my most defining quality.
Either way, I mulled over an appropriate venue to surrender my iPhone virginity and came up with Saturday night’s UCLA football game.
It would be just like college except with my entire family present. Hooray!
I’ll admit I was nervous; after all, my phone and I hadn’t even reached first base.
But after a tumbler of wine I was ready to swing for a home run. Or a touchdown. Or whatever.
(Go ahead. I promise nothing will explode. Probably.)
Recognizing that the word “limited” hardly does me justice, Jack and Karly took matters (and my phone) into their own hands to show me how it’s done:
So Bill grabbed the phone and shot this while patiently describing the intricate procedure to me:
Eventually, everyone gave up on me. Which was just the lack of confidence I needed to channel my inner-Annie Leibovitz (shut up):
And I’m now happy to report that despite the initial awkwardness, my first time (taking pictures with my iPhone) was truly unforgettable.
After all, UCLA beat San Jose State, the Gardners ate a ton of crap, and nobody ended up pregnant.