My Last Christmas Poem Was Better, But…

…they can’t all be home runs.

So, hooray for MEDIOCRITY! We’re excellent at it!

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‘Twas nine days before Christmas; I woke in a fog.

“Hey, I should write something! Don’t I have a blog?”

My website is lonely; my laundry list, too;

So little time and so dang much to do!

There’s sleeping and eating, not taking a shower,

Counting each second, each minute, each hour

I sit at my desk stringing verbs up with nouns;

The days in my circus are filled up with clowns.

I don’t mean my family. Okay. Yes, I do.

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We’re goofballs and you should all know that it’s true.

Jack’s with his girlfriend, Bill’s gone for a run;

Karly’s binge-watching our NetFlix for fun.

I’m busy mopping and scrubbing and such.

Just kidding. That’s housework! I don’t do too much.

Our dogs are still lazy, undisciplined pups;

They eat from our plates and they drink from our cups.

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But life is too short so we choose not to worry.

(We might be outwitted by those who are furry.)

As for your choices, the dumb and the smart,

I hope your year’s great to the end from the start.

And since I skipped last year, my list is extensive.

Get ready. I’m eager, loquacious and pensive:

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(Also, windswept on the Potomac.) 

May your leopard-spots shift while your owls stay wise;

May your heart, like the Grinch’s, grow three times in size.

May your heels be kicked up and your waistbands unbuttoned,

May your gravy be good and your chops all be muttoned.

And just on the off chance I’ve caught you in time,

I’m fitting this grammar tip into my rhyme:

When sending out cards with your family’s name,

Try The Gardners not Gardner’s.

(No. It’s not the same.)

Still, I welcome the different, the weird and the strange;

Let’s embrace less complaining and more seeking change.

Stop blaming who’s left and who’s right and who’s wrong;

Hear your own drumbeat and sing your own song.

Succeed with humility, fail with aplomb,

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And never miss chances for a photobomb.

There’s already darkness and plenty of fear,

So let’s choose to celebrate, headline and cheer

The light that surrounds us for all that it’s worth.

Find big joys to trumpet!  Spread peace here on earth!

From my home to yours, it is warmth that I share

As the swift hands of time labor on without care.

We want them to slow but they’re ticking. They tock.

Whether or not someone stops to take stock.

So if you have big needs, I wish them for you,

Along with a dream you thought couldn’t come true.

I promise to share with you mine, someday soon.

For now, just imagine me singing this tune:

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I am still lucky now,

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I was lucky before.

And in my life, I love you more.

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Forever and everywhere. Even at the West Wing.

(I guess 2014 wasn’t ALL mediocre.)

The End.

33 thoughts on “My Last Christmas Poem Was Better, But…

  1. You say it’s not as good, but it’s definitely better! Cheers and Merry Christmas!

    • julie

      I’m so glad you think so. Hope your Christmas is warm and wonderful!

  2. It wouldn’t be Christmas without your poem, the perfect way to start my morning. I hope the Gardner’s chops are muttoned as well!

    xo,
    Sue

    • julie

      Can’t wait to see you and celebrate next week!
      P.S. Muttoned chops are the only way to go!

  3. Definitely not mediocre! Love this!

  4. How do you do it? I LOVE THIS. Sending you and your wonderful family wishes for an amazing 2015… xoxo

    • julie

      Thank you, thank you, thank you!
      I’ve made a promise to myself to quit before people start cringing at these poems.

      (Not that I didn’t love when Fonzie jumped that shark!)

  5. Merry Merry Christmas, my friend! xoxoxoxo

  6. Love this! Seriously. And our furry family member? Has definitely outwitted us. In fact, he’s still sleeping IN MY BED as I write this… Happy Holidays, my friend!

  7. Dolores Anderson

    Great as always. Keep enjoying your crazy life. Looking forward to seeing you Sunday.

  8. Hahahaha! I love the grammar lesson in the middle of you post! LOLI You are fabulous, Ms. Julie.

  9. This is up there with “waking up in my mom’s house” as “favorite Christmas traditions”. Great job, truly.

    And I’m a firm believer that dogs are SUPPOSED to eat off our plates and drink from our cups (I can’t possibly claim that my new pup is lazy – he’s a ball of energy), but he’s a good plate cleaner . . . especially when I’m hoping that he’ll save that talent for another time.

    And Netflix . . . bingewatching, well, I’d have NEVER thought that such a behavior would become so popular. But, damn, I’ve caught myself applauding the “play the next episode automatically” feature, a time or two, myself.

  10. Diane

    …and we are all so lucky you are in our lives
    With your words filled with love and humor that help us survive.
    Happy holidays my dearest friend! (a weak attempt, but I tried!)

  11. Ann

    I have a huge lump in my throat. I’m sorry, but you hit this one out of the park too.

  12. Mom

    Once again you’ve made The Christiansons smile for SO MANY REASONS! xoxo

  13. KTP

    A masterpiece! Can I just forward this to everyone and pretend it’s mine?

    • julie

      You TOTALLY can do that. Except then everyone will think you don’t do much housework.
      🙂

  14. You are for sure my cleverest friend. (And not the least bit mediocre!)

    I remain forever in awe of you. xoxo

  15. WOnderful. Grounding. Makes us all out here, miss you so. xoxoxo

  16. pat starrett

    So special to see the next gen being creative, imaginative and
    mostly inspiring!! Give us more!!
    Love, Cousin Pat (and I am privileged to be able to call you
    one).

  17. Marvelous, Julie. There is not better than last year, there just is. And your Is is always special. May your days be merry and bright, Julie C., and much wonder to you and yours.

  18. Oh this is really quite fantastic in so many ways! I kept on thinking, oh that was my favorite line and then you’d write another and another. I can’t wait for the pensive and loquacious thoughts you have to pour out onto my screen. Your family is so lovely, dogs included (that’s coming from a cat person), and I got a bit misty eyed at the pictures of your kids from babies to teenagers. Hope you all have a wonderful holiday!
    -Dana

  19. Genius and a grammar lesson, too! Seriously, this was SO good! Beautiful, funny, heartfelt, and wise. Good luck matching that next year. Oy.

  20. This made me so happy this morning. Thanks for the holiday cheer!

  21. –When I click over here,
    I am continually filled w/ whatever I need.
    How did you know?

    Merry Christmas, Julie. xx

  22. Have you redefined ‘mediocre’? Because this was most certainly more than excellent.

    Merry Christmas, my friend.

  23. Julie, this is fantastic! I don’t even celebrate Christmas and I loved it! Beautiful family, beautiful words! Merry Christmas!

  24. This: Succeed with humility, fail with aplomb,

    was not mediocre at all, but pure genius.

    Jack has a girlfriend? 🙂

    Love you, friend.

  25. You’re so good! I’d probably let those dogs drink from my cups too! So cute! Enjoy the holidays with your sweet, beautiful family. 🙂

  26. Love, love, love! The poem…your beautiful family photos…you. I wish you a very merry Christmas, my friend.

  27. Another year goes by without a hug – how can that be?
    Wishing you and yours a simply fabulous holiday season.
    Perhaps even loquacious and garrulous 😉

  28. Brilliant! I only wish I had read it sooner. Happy new year!

  29. Kelly Ortiz

    I look forward to your poem every year! Merry Christmas to the family!

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